December 2010
13 posts
Life...
As I sit here I wonder. I wonder if I am going to end up disappointing every one I care about. I wonder if I am going to disappoint myself. I wonder if I am the only one who feels how I do. I wonder if life is going to pass me by. I am also very grateful for every positive thing that I do have. I love the fact I have a cousin that no matter how much of a bitch I am being will put up with me.I love...
Feelings....
A poem I have been working on
I got Soul Like a Jazz Player playing in the Cold Feeling his fingers Swole As he grips his Horn of Gold I know Pain Like an African Man on the Plains His whole village in Flames And he’s the only one who Remains I have Might Like a Greek God in a Fight Battling for his Life His back stabbed with a Knife I got feeling like, like, well Metaphors can’t...
Excuse Me Miss...
So tonight is the “Buena Noche”. It was a decent enough day. I am just wondering what I want. I miss a lot of people in my life. I miss my childhood. I miss being happy. I miss having friends that I loved. I miss when gifts could make me happy. I miss who I used to be. I miss playing sports. I even miss the struggles I used to have in my childhood. I miss struggling. I miss...
Cold Winter Days...
So today I am opening a new chapter in my life. It is a weird feeling knowing that what i held in such a high regard will now just be another pit stop in the road of life. I wonder how things will be now. I am excited. The nice weather and the independence is rare back home but abundant down here. I have been doing a lot of self-reflection and thinking about what I want in life. I realized...
Sunny Days...
I’ve taken a few days off from writing to truly gather my thoughts. I have decided I dwell entirely too much in the past. From this point on I’m living for the present and the future. This weekend at home was warm and inviting. I laid in my own bed which caressed my entire body. I ate meals that were not just yesterdays reheated dinner. Every thing about being home after a long time...
Boys don't cry...
This is a poem I wrote August 18, 2010. It’s kind of old but I hope you enjoy.
Boys don’t cry
When I feel the moisture in my eyes
I am quick to wipe them dry
‘Cause boys don’t cry
What am I to do when I wanna weep
As My sadness suppresses all my sleep
But boys can’t cry
The idea of me breaking down
Is very blatant now
My emotions are hard to bury down
But I...
A Day in May, Well December...
Today was a duprising change of pace. I’m in a pretty good mood. I feel like I mentally accomplished so much despite physically doing very little. I had alot of soul searching and I realized I need not be so hard on myself. I am always telling others that they need to love themselves more but I’m not listening to my own advice. I am lookin and the world through new eyes. It’s...
A Tree...
Feeling extremely distant today. Despite my close friends being a phone call away, the loneliness combined with the shrilling cold and the murky darkness outside combines for a scene from a sort of depressing horror triller. I feel that when the most people are around I feel the most lonely. I am always Finding ways to make myself depressed without realizing it. Enough emotional 12 year old shit....
My Head...
These darn headaches are killing me. My eyes hurt to be open. I can’t seem to get her off my mind. It makes me happy but it also scares me. But the possibility of us being a maybe is all I need to stay positive. I miss you. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gunna get.” -Forrest Gump
A Moment of Mixed Emotions....
I am slightly askew to how I am feeling. I just found out that the person on this planet I hold to the highest regard became available. She is a symbol of perfection in my eyes. But I don’t quite know how to feel. I am not happy with the fact she broke up with someone who seemed to make her extremely happy. I am happy for a selfish reason that there may be a possibility that me and her can...
The mime...
As I sit in my dorm room I can only stop and think. What if I would have died that day. I don’t know if I will ever live down what happened. It was probably the most afraid I have ever been. But it was humbling. I am looking and thinking about things different now. I am a mime in an invisible box having a conversation that no one can hear.
A Dismal Day...
I am so on edge right now. I feel sick to my stomach. I never thought something that i walked out of just fine would have me so shaken. I’m a nervous wreck and on top of that i am physically exhausted. I don’t know what to do. The worst part is the loneliness. I am sitting in my room. I can hear the near silence and it’s hurting my ears. The only things audible are the AC unit...
The Start...
I sit contemplating whether people really feel so enthralled in their lives that they need to discourage other so the have this psuedo-sense of satisfaction in their lives. I feel incomplete today. I wrecked my car and the feeling that I could have died is eye opening. I need to appreciate every thing I have a little more. But I guess when life gives you lemons, you better paint them shits gold...